​

 

 

 

 

 

​

​

 

They did everything they could to not let her know.

 

But Karen had always known.  It was something she had always felt.  It wasn’t as though she looked like her father or had his particular traits.  She had the looks of Tim and was as untidy and unpractical as him.

 

But Karen had always known.

 

So, Karen was always drawn to Simon.  Perhaps that was the thing that had torn Tim and Simon apart – separated them.

 

Karen was a Daddy’s girl.

 

Unfortunately, Karen had two Daddies, double vision.

 

In the end Kelly had won.  Tim had been too weak to resist.  He told her it was her he was coming back to.  In reality he was running away, running away from his own jealousy.  Tim had lost the one true love of his life; Tim had lost his husband to their daughter.  Because, in the end, Karen was always Simon’s daughter and Tim had watched the love Simon bestowed on her.  It was a depth of love Tim perceived that he would never receive.  However, Tim did not understand the type of love that Simon felt for Karen.  In Simon’s heart there was plenty of room for love.  Simon had a big heart.

 

So, when Tim left, Simon had lost his husband.

 

He had lost his husband to his ex-wife.

 

Tim had returned to Kelly.

 

*

**

 

 

Kelly was in raptures; Kelly had won.  She soon realised that, after all these years, she didn’t want the prize.  After all the years apart, Tim was no longer a prize.  It was the spite that had built up inside Kelly that had made her fight and, when she had won, the spite had gone and she didn’t really care.

 

Tim had become alien to Kelly, and their twins had long since left.  But they were saddled with each other, saddled by their own indulgences, their own mistakes.

 

On occasions when Tim seemed wistful and distant Kelly knew who he was thinking about.

 

And it wasn’t her.

 

*

**

 

Karen had been bequeathed the house, the house that she was raised in.  The double vision was gone.  Both of her fathers had gone.

 

Karen was now alone in the cottage – her cottage.

 

*

**

 

Tim had given up on life and himself.  He had long since stopped caring about his appearance or his health, and Kelly did not have the interest or inclination to nag him anymore.

 

Theirs was a marriage of indifference.

 

*

**

 

 

It was a heart attack.  His heart gave up.

 

*

**

 

Karen had often tried, over the years, to communicate with Tim after he had left Simon but Tim could not bear to see her, to be reminded – to be reminded of when he was happy. So, they had drifted.

 

*

**

 

 

It was a heart attack.  His heart gave up.

 

His heart was broken.

 

*

**

​

And so was Karen’s.  She had always loved him.

 

Tim.

 

*

**

​

​

Now both of them were gone.  Karen was alone.  Alone in the house where now there was no-one.

 

Only Karen.

 

No fathers.

 

There never had been a Mother.  Karen knew a name.  Sandra  - but she had never met her, except the day that she was born.  Naturally.

 

When growing up Karen had always wanted a Mother.  Karen thought she had wanted what everyone else had.  Two loving parents.  Looking back, she realised that she had had it all.

 

Karen could not help but feel that she had the been the cause for the ruin of it all.  The division between Tim and Simon was because of her.  You shouldn’t love one person more than the other, but she did.  And both of them knew it.  She loved both of them.

 

She loved Simon more.

 

*

**

 

 

Simon was never the same after Tim left and he was a shadow of a man when Karen left for university.  She thought he would await her return.

 

Simon could not wait.  He could not wait to die, so he made sure there was no waiting.  Always controlled.  Always routines.

 

Simon could not wait to die.  Simon was always in control and he controlled his own death.  The last of his routines.

 

The realisation had sunk in with Karen.  Simon could not bear to see her, to be reminded – to be reminded of when he was happy.

 

Their desire, their joy, their child had come between them.  Karen had torn them apart.

 

*

**

​

 

His heart gave up.

 

His heart was broken.

 

*

**

​

And so was Karen’s.  She had always loved him.

 

Simon.

 

*

**

 

Now the cottage was hers, hers alone.  At first, she did not want to enter.  It felt like an intrusion.

 

But she did.

 

Karen thought it was sad that there was no-one to see her walk over the flagstones.

​

 

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